Your marriage is over when


Being stuck in the same space with your partner for an extended period is unnatural, unless you are travelling together. Being at home working, raising children, being domestic and having to play the part of a partner is far from normal. Usually, one or both partners will go to their place of work after briefly seeing each other in the morning rush then they gather and share the details of the day and enjoy between 2-4 hours together in the evening. Being around each other for 24 hours every day often means that there isn’t any new information to share or tell, nothing exciting has passed and with the current restrictions, there isn’t much that you can do to spice up the relationship outside of the home. So much time together exacerbates any concerns or issues in your relationship.

Rachael Scharrer, Separation Strategist and Life Change Counsellor, shares 7 key areas to look out for which may signal that your marriage may be over or nearing the end if a course correction isn’t taken. These signals may be sufficiently severe on its own or in combination may

  1. Infidelity. When cheating occurs, it is often considered to be a significant breach of trust. The individuals in the relationship are demonstrates that the relationship isn’t of equal importance or significance. There is a disconnect in the relationship

  2. Domestic violence. Abuse can come in the form of verbal, physical, emotional, sexual, social, financial and mental. It can be considered one of the highest forms of disrespect and control. When you are at harm or risk and there are safety issues present, you may need to prepare to leave. Read more here or buy the HOW TO BEST SEPARATE: Domestic Violence E-book here

  3. Avoidance. If you are scared of your partner or find excuses not to go home or be with them, then this says a lot. A relationship based on fear or avoidance is demonstrative that there are significant issues that either need addressing or overcoming (be it in the relationship or out of it)

  4. No intimacy. The passion and attraction has died. This is something that can slowly be rekindled with effort or perhaps it can’t be rekindled. The decision for you is whether you want to stay in the ‘friendship’ or move on.

  5. Annoyances. Everything they do annoys you. It is almost like the saying “you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t “. Nothing they do will please you.

  6. Contempt. Contempt and talking poorly of spouse constant criticism as talking down to and about your spouse is a recipe for failure. According to internationally renowned relationship expert and founder of the Gottman Institute, John Gottman, it is possible to identify whether a marriage will survive within watching the couple interact for 6 minutes. As soon as contempt creeps in, Gottman says that the relationship is in trouble. Contempt is essentially behaviours or words that express one person is better than the other person.

  7. Resentment. Feeling bitter and harbouring resentment towards your partner may occur for a for a number of reasons that are unique to you. It may be about where you live, having to work, household income, expenses or hobbies that you don’t agree with, being burdened with excessive responsibilities. Continually blaming and holding grudges without overcoming them.

These signs are demonstrative of relationships in trouble. If left unaddressed, you or your relationship may struggle greatly or end up in a very sad demise. However, you can choose to seek support from a counsellor, make some conscious changes and improve the relationship with a hope for long-term betterment.

Should you decide that leaving your relationship is what you want to do or what you need to do, then the HOW TO BEST SEPARATE When your relationship Ends e-book can be a great resource to assist your on your journey.


Preparing for an economic downturn and relationship stress

7 pressures that can strain a marriage

How to spot a cheater

HOW TO BEST SEPARATE Domestic Violence E-book

HOW TO BEST SEPARATE When your relationship Ends e-book


This is general advice only and is not provided as legal advice. If you have a legal issue, you should contact a lawyer and/or accountant before making a decision about what to do or applying to the Court. cannot provide legal advice. If you have an emergency situation, please contact Emergency '000'. © Divorce Pty Ltd