To the solo and single primary carer dads on Mother's Day

HOW TO NAVIGATE MOTHER’S DAY FOR DADS WITH PRIMARY CARE

Being a solo or single primary carer dad on Mother’s Day can be a little tricky and certainly celebrating you and what you do goes against the usual gender norm. However, solo and single dads deserve equal recognition. Just like all primary carers, single dads manage the cooking, washing, transporting, parental responsibilities and emotional wellbeing of the children.

As always, a parent’s primary focus is their children – helping them to adjust, feel ‘normal’ and be just like their friends. As such, this Mother’s Day you may need to implement a multiprong approach to your special occasion celebrations.

You might like to consider or action one or a few of the following:

  1. Encourage and allow children to call their mother. If this is possible and safe, it will make the children feel good about themselves while also making their mother feel good
  2. If children can’t call, do something to help them mark the day by sending a card, homemade gift. Again, children have two parents regardless of how involved or how good each parent may be. Your child deserves to embrace the ‘other half’ of who they are
  3. Have a small celebration with grandmother or aunt. Having more than one positive female role models in your child’s life is important. Just like there are many different types of families, there are many different ways that someone can be a ‘mother figure’ to your child. Family is a great place to start
  4. Show gratitude to the wonderful women in their life. One way of showing gratitude to the influential women in your child’s life could be by baking cupcakes or writing notes and thanking them for their involvement. Your children will enjoy making something homemade – let them choose who they want to involve in their day
  5. Celebrate yourself. This is incredibly important. If you can, go beyond just giving yourself a pat-on-the-back and take a little time out for you or enjoy a special family dinner together. Parenting is constant hard work. Recognise your hard work and effort, congratulate yourself and identify the achievements you have made with your children, I bet you will feel good about yourself

If you are a father reading this article, regardless of the time share with your child, it’s always nice to help your child recognise the many wonderful women that help to shape their life – even their mother. Helping your child surprise their mum, albeit a token gift or small gesture, will go along way to improving and maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship.

Thinking about navigating Mother’s Day may stir up feelings of hurt, resentment, guilt, sadness for the decisions that you have made and the other parent that your child has. However, if we adjust your perspective and remind you that without the other parent, your child wouldn’t be here. Your child is the amazing individual that they are because of the resilience, love and support that you have given them and the decisions that you have made on their behalf.

Be proud of your efforts and of your child this Mother’s Day.

Disclaimer

This is general advice only and is not provided as legal advice. If you have a legal issue, you should contact a lawyer and/or accountant before making a decision about what to do or applying to the Court. DivorceAnswered.com.au cannot provide legal advice. If you have an emergency situation, please contact Emergency '000'. © Divorce Pty Ltd

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