When you get divorced you learn who your true friends are. Some are super supportive and call regularly to check on your wellbeing. Others run away.
Friends, regardless of the reason, move on. However, separation tends to make it blatantly and more painfully obvious. Generally, coupled friends close to you and your partner often feel the need to take sides because it is easier than “being in the middle” or hearing the “he said” and “she said” arguments. Some friends don’t want to hear about your pain and suffering from separation and change the subject. And other friends that try to escape your misfortune because they either feel their relationship is threatened, their partner may get wayward ideas or is it something from their past that they can’t deal with that they are seeing again.
Don’t waste your time and energy hating those who are unable to offer support. Accept it and their position and love them. Concentrate on your own happiness.
Pick and choose your friends that you can talk to about your separation and divorce. If you are fortunate enough, you may have a friend who separated around the same time and in a similar situation as you. You can then mutually lean on each other, raise positivity and help each other through the days, weeks and years to come.
Be mindful not to take on every divorced friend and divorcees woes. It will be too much to burden and not emotionally possible.
It is understandable that you are looking for compassion, kindness and sympathy… not for someone to take away your sorrow, anger and disappointment (although it would be nice). A coffee or a walk with a friend is just as good as venting. Fill the “hole” in your life by doing activities alone or with friends so that you can have other conversation points other than your divorce.
Get out there, enjoy life and live it to the full.
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