When you have a dinner party, one of the things you are told is not to talk about politics, religion and money. These topics can incite a lot of emotion and it isn’t much different when coming to or discussing a financial settlement. Everyone has put in and contributed in their own way: there may have been an agreement or understanding how the relationship would work or other reasons known or unknown to each party in the relationship.
No matter whether your financial settlements include a lot of money or a little, in my experience, I have found that both parties think that they have been ‘hard done by.’ One party often thinks that they deserved more and one party thinks that they have given too much. This can create resentment, upset and hurt for each party.
To ensure that you don’t have an appeal of any decision or division, please seek professional legal advice before you sign off on any financial agreements.
BUT WAIT! THERE IS AN UPSIDE!
The way to navigate through these feelings is to find a level of acceptance with the situation and withhold the regrets and negative sentiments. For many, this helps to ‘close the book’ on the marriage or union.
Keep reminding yourself that a formal financial settlement means:
If you haven’t already achieved your formal financial settlement, then try starting with some open communication, negotiation and compromise. If you put any offers in writing, please ensure that it is “without prejudice” which means that it can’t be used in court against you if the negotiation fails.
If you have already made a financial settlement agreement but not lodged it at court as an order, please make all efforts to do so quickly and amicably.
Your financial independence and freedom is invaluable and it is worth every effort to ensure that you secure it.