Rachael Scharrer, divorce and relationships expert and coach, has found some common complaints and observations from men and women about their wandering spouses. This is a valuable compilation for those that may be wondering about the faithfulness of their spouse.
When you get the hunch that your partner may be cheating on you, it is a feeling that doesn’t go away until you have concrete evidence that it is either happening or is a figment of your imagination. For people who have been cheated on, they can all retrospectively see behaviours that were tell-tale signs during the relationship. As the saying goes, ‘love is blind’ and often we rationalise, make excuses and overlook odd and bad behaviour from our partner.
Quite often, there are changes that we notice in our partner which triggers the ‘hunch’ and either makes people convince themselves it isn’t happening or start a process of observation, diligence and enquiry…
If you think that your partner is cheating, here are some common signs to be conscious of:
CHANGES TO MOBILE PHONE/SOCIAL MEDIA BEHAVIOURS:
CHANGES TO FINANCIAL MATTERS:
CHANGES TO WORK, SOCIAL LIFE AND LIFESTYLE:
CHANGES TO ATTIRE, SELF AND PERSONAL HYGIENE:
All too often, with retrospect and hindsight, it is likely that you will have noticed at least one of these changes. But these changes don’t guarantee that your spouse is cheating - they may even be trying to impress you or make more effort for you…. OR they may be cheating.
YOUR NEXT POSSIBLE ACTION STEPS COULD BE:
In some situations, GASLIGHTING occurs. This is when one person manipulates the other into second-guessing or doubting themselves. Some people feel like they are losing their mind or sanity. My recommendation for combating gaslighting and ensuring that you start diarising and journaling the daily conversations/activities. This way, when something comes up, you can refer to your notes and know what your truth was at the time.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, follow your gut instinct and intuition. Often our head rationalises what our instincts are telling us and we ignore or overlook tell-tale signs. More often than not, your instincts and intuition are accurate.