Don't disturb the amicably separating couple


Nowadays, all we hear about are the nasty, horrible and selfish divorces. It seems like the couples who like to push each other’s buttons seem to get more air-time than those who aren’t as antagonistic. Sadly, we tend not to celebrate the couples who are able to divorce quickly, painlessly and amicably. Even more devastatingly, when there is a couple that can reach a resolution quickly, some friends try to start a ‘fire’ or tension between them. Rachael Scharrer, divorce and relationship expert, makes a strong recommendation to family and friends: ‘Don’t disturb the amicably separating couple.”

Even when the financial set-up works, when the parenting seems to be well coordinated, there is often one friend with a strong opinion about what you are doing. This can make you feel like there is something wrong – which if you were to address it incorrectly, may destabilise the harmonious parenting, financial and emotional balance that currently exists.

Don’t rock the boat.

Perhaps society has become oblivious that a couple can amicably split – that they can create a financial agreement on their own without argument, they can respectfully co-parent their children and work together as a team.

To these couples that can work out their settlements in a way that is fair to both parties, created without pressure or stress, without the assistance of lawyers and retains respect and courtesy for the other person, I applaud you. You are what every separating couple aspires to achieve. Your fair and realistic perspective has preserved your sanity (and the asset pool)! It has allowed you to move on with your life without the protracted drama and stress that other relationships encounter upon separation.

If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it. Instead of spending tens of thousands of dollars or hundreds of thousands of dollars, you can get your consent orders completed by a lawyer for as little as $1500 plus court application fees - It’s a significant cost saving compared to those who battle it out in court for years.

Please note that while this is an ideal situation, it is not likely to occur in all separations. When one party is controlling, withholding information, intentionally disagreeable or being deceitful, then it is likely that you will need to engage a lawyer and go through the court route. If you are reading this article and realise that this is your route, you can still be an ideal family law client and reduce your legal fees.

If you would like some help being realistic about your settlements or arrangements, how to gather the right information for settlements, agreements or negotiations, book a Strategy Session today! The 45-minute appointment can make a huge difference to your journey.

Remember, just because you have broken-up with your ex-partner, it doesn’t mean that you don’t care for them anymore. Cutting ties with your ex-spouse is near impossible when you have children together. You may still care for or love your ex-spouse as your child’s other parent and if you can maintain feelings of respect, kindness and care, your separation will be more enjoyable and pleasant for everyone involved.


This is general advice only and is not provided as legal advice. If you have a legal issue, you should contact a lawyer and/or accountant before making a decision about what to do or applying to the Court. cannot provide legal advice. If you have an emergency situation, please contact Emergency '000'. © Divorce Pty Ltd