It takes a lot of energy and effort to make a divorced couple’s ongoing relationship amicable. One person always feels like they are doing all of the compromising or “bending” to keep the relationship on the cordial track.
Creating a happy, positive front while separated is possibly harder than working on the marriage. You no longer need to listen to your ex-partner when they agitate you. So if you want to get your message across or be in the presence of each other, then both parties need to extend themselves and their respect.
Most separations start out fine. Then, at some point, it starts to hit some nasty lows. It may be over finances, outstanding debt/bills, children’s medical or education fees or constant changes to parenting arrangements.
Understanding that the “sour note” will come, it is essential to document everything – every interaction, everything the children repeat. Start documenting when the relationship is working well so that you have a history and continue documenting when it turns not-so-nice. You may think that you will be able to remember each and every item when you need it. However, in 12 to 18 months or 3 years’ time you won’t be able to recall the exact time, date and details of the conversation, contact or issue.
A little bit of effort to document every day will help act as evidence or proof of a pattern when you need it.