Do Not Press Send!
Rule #1: Do not press send in anger.
No matter how angry or frustrated you are by a comment, call, message or email from your ex-partner, do not retaliate. Do not enter into the depths of hate and payback. Be the bigger person and refrain from engaging further into a degrading situation.
If you need to vent your frustrations, try completing the following:
- Write or type out what it is that you would love to say to your annoying, aggravating, frustrating ex-partner. Write with all of the emotion that you are feeling. Get everything that you want to say on almost every topic that you feel needs to be said. It is possible that it could end up being as long as a novel.
- If you typed it, print it off. Do not save it to your computer.
- If it makes you feel better, read it aloud (not in the presence of your children) as if you were saying it to their face.
- Do not post or send the document.
- Some people may like to tear or burn the piece of paper and make it symbolic (if you chose to burn it, please do so safely)
- Wait at 12 – 24 hours before your second attempt at responding (if it is really necessary to respond at all). The angrier you are, the longer you need to wait. This way, you will be able to write constructively, objectively and without emotion.
- Anything that you say, do or write may be used against you in a court of law. Think about how you word your revised response.
- Keep your response short. Give as little information in retort as necessary. It could be as simple as “I disagree with your statement”. You don’t always need to justify everything. Sometimes offering too much information can create fuel to the fire or incriminate you.
- Once you have written a more constructive response, wait another 24 hours. Do not send yet.
- Re-read your response. Consider whether it is really necessary to send it. Make sure it is “evidence” that you really what you want your ex-partner to have.
- If you are certain and happy, then send.
I love to quote: “you can’t fight with an idiot.” Think about what you are doing. Make the best calculated response, if it is really necessary to respond.