Divorce, Separation and your Last Will

Let’s cover a morbid topic and clarify what happens to your assets when you die. Divorce Answered shares insights into your marital status, your Last Will and associated implications of...

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24 ways to stretch your legal budget during divorce

There are more people than ever before using the Family Courts. The vast majority of the separating population are not able to afford unlimited legal representation. Equally, more and more people are self-representing and, understandably, they...

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10 ways to show affection without buying a gift

You don’t need to open your wallet and buy something to sow someone that you love them. There are ways that you can show affection without buying a gift or flowers. Divorce Answered offers 10 suggestions for ...

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12 Christmas Tips: How to Emotionally Prepare

As urban and metro areas become more densely populated, housing and blocks of land become smaller. More people are being forced to share a smaller space. For many people ...

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12 Christmas Tips: How to Financially Prepare

As urban and metro areas become more densely populated, housing and blocks of land become smaller. More people are being forced to share a smaller space. For many people ...

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Should Children Share a Bedroom? Considerations for and against it

As urban and metro areas become more densely populated, housing and blocks of land become smaller. More people are being forced to share a smaller space. For many people ...

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Mental Health Awareness Day. A Marriage Under Pressure

When I separated in 2012, I knew that I did everything I could to try to get my husband help. The challenge with mental health is that it isn’t a tangible issue and there are ebbs and flows. More pitfalls...

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Self-medication alternatives when depressed or experiencing depression

Separation ultimately and periodically takes a toll on individuals. There will be moments of stress, anxiety, helplessness and frustration which can leave you feeling depressed or with depression. When these feelings arise, ...

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Was sharing a bathroom a contributing factor to your divorce?

(blog) I am clearly a challenging and particular person. I like things tidy and neat (where possible) and even behind the closed doors and inside cupboards. In an ideal world, I think men, women and their partners ...

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The Christmas Creep. Is your bank account prepared for Christmas?

(blog) Christmas - Aargh! It has crept up on me again. The bank balance is looking sad and in dire need of a cash windfall. My heart starts to beat fast when I recall ...

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Divorced and Dating. The Two Types of Women

(Personal perspective) In 2012 my marriage was irreparable. Within days of my separation, I had two other girlfriends also separate. Incidentally, I have met and supported many women throughout their separations and ...

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Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?

Making the decision to end a marriage is a very big decision. Many people took vows to live together through poverty and poor health for the rest of their lives. Leaving the marriage leaves them feeling ...

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The Rights Of Grandparents In Divorce

Today, more than any previous generation, grandparents are playing a more active role in the lives of their grandchildren. This post is dedicated to Nanna. Nanna is concerned for other grandparents who aren’t able to facilitate a loving relationship with their grandchildren of divorce ...

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Why in-car communication with kids is important

In the daily hustle and bustle of life, we often overlook the smaller, incidental opportunities to connect with our children. Even cars built today are fitted with ports for the current digital devices which ...

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Auditor General: NSW Energy Rebate Fail

Today (September 19, 2017) in the NSW news, there has been a lot of talk about energy prices following the early September energy price increase. So, if you are a low-income family or pensioner and ...

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8 Essential Catch-Phrases for Children

These are great rules for any home – As a single parent, I feel the need to have some order and clear expectations of what I want and expect from the children. With...

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Learning to self-love after divorce

Often people leave their marriage feeling broken, bruised and bashed-about. They struggle with confidence as a parent, partner and as a person. Often, they have lost their self-value. Somehow and in some way, they need to find...

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R U Ok? Day. Considering divorcees and the children of divorce

R U Ok? Day is today, September 14, 2017, which means that more than ever before, we need to check in with our friends, family, neighbours and particularly the growing number of divorcees. This year, you are asked you to please pay particular attention to your friends starting or in the thick of their divorce...

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How Long Has it Been Since You Saw Your GP? Why you need to check your health regularly

Divorce, separation and single life has many challenges – peace of mind in a time of change and uncertainty is such a blessing. Just like you have to be able to love yourself before you can love someone else, you too aren’t any good to...

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What To Do Now That You Are Separated

While divorce is devastating, it can be equally as liberating. Whether you made the decision or the decision to end the union was made for you, it is still a huge change. For many people, they...

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Deciding Not To Be A Divorce Victim

What marriage is and what it looks like is ever changing. The traditional 1950s stay at home mother with working husband is antiquated. Today, there are traditional, blended and single-parent families, de facto...

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Surprising Marriage Factors

What marriage is and what it looks like is ever changing. The traditional 1950s stay at home mother with working husband is antiquated. Today, there are traditional, blended and single-parent families, de facto...

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An Open Letter to my Ex-Spouse

The judge said ‘if you don’t hate each other now, when we go to hearing you certainly will.’ You may be pleased to know that I don’t hate you. I actually feel ...

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Navigating Father's Day for Children of Divorce and their Dad

Many fathers wish that they could have more time each day, week or month with their children and this is often highlighted on Father’s Day. According to the ABS, almost one in 5 families are...

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Father's Day Solutions For Children of Single and Solo Mums

Not every child is fortunate to have their dad active and involved in their daily lives. There are many who have limited to no contact. The reasons for...

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Single Parents Guide to Navigating Special Occasions

As special occasions arise throughout the year, many divorced and single parents feel unsettled or unsatisfied with the parenting and visiting arrangements. It isn’t until...

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Advice to the Person Dating a Single Parent

Being a single, primary parent is exhausting and a thank-less role. It’s also very easy to slip someone new seamlessly into family life without having to...

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6 tips for managing and moving on after break up

The end of a relationship, be it the end of a marriage or long-term relationship, affects people in different ways. Divorce Answered shares tips on dealing with the break-up and...

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The benefits of moving post-separation

Moving at any time in your life can be stressful. Adding children and separation to the mix, the process can become more overwhelming. Divorce Answered generally recommends...

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How the same-sex marraige debate is redundant and wasteful

I find it interesting how, in the 21st century, some conservative people in positions of power and influence are resisting the immediate legalisation of same-sex marriage. To date, ...

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Should I have Divorced Differently?

A part of me wishes I could say that I would have done things differently in my divorce; this isn’t the case. For my children, I wish that the outcome...

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Shaking the Shackles of Marriage. How to have the 'I want a Separation' conversation

Deciding to end a relationship or a marriage is a life changing decision and the first step towards moving forward begins with a long and detailed conversation with your partner...

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12 Simple Ways to Help Children Through Divorce

Divorce and separation changes the dynamics for a family. Often the parents are so wrapped up in their own emotional turmoil that the children are sometimes the forgotten victims. Here are some...

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How soon is too soon to move on after divorce?

Divorce Answered reflects upon the ‘how soon is too soon to move on after divorce’ question and offers some self-reflection considerations before taking the leap. “When is it the right time to move on?” is one of the biggest questions faced by...

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4 Lessons About Raising Children as a Working Parent

I recently heard a smart person say that we should never feel guilty about being a working parent. To be guilty means assumes that something was wrong and a wrong-doing done. There is nothing wrong about working to...

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5 Tips for Leaving An Abusive Relationship

It is alarming to know that domestic violence is an ongoing issue around the country. In fact, one in three Australian women have experienced physical violence and one in four Australian women have experienced emotional abuse by a current or former partner . Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate ...

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6 Phrases Not To Say To Your Divorcing Friend

Divorcing is difficult. Friends and family want to support you. Just like in times of loss and grief, separation is equally difficult and finding the right words can be hard. As a support person, the top...

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The Importance Of Following Professional Advice and Recommendations

Failing to follow the recommendations of any professional throughout the divorce process could have undesired consequences. Depending on your court case, your lawyer, appointed judge and other professionals, you may not like the outcomes that are either...

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The Best Conversation Starters When Dating After Divorce

As a divorcee, it is so hard to date. Following separation and significant relationships, often our confidence has been shaken and we aren’t sure what is dating protocol nowadays. Many people don’t want to...

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De Facto Relationship Myths Debunked

All too often we hear couples in long term relationships say that “marriage is only a piece of paper” or “we didn’t get married because we don’t want to get divorced.” Unfortunately, these couples don’t realise that they are actually part...

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Baby Boomer De Facto Relationships Exposed

Many Baby Boomers (people born post World War II, between 1946 and 1964) often recouple when in a financially sound situation. They couple for many reasons, primarily for companionship. Rachael Scharrer, founder of online resource DivorceAnswered.com.au has exposed the lesser known truths about ...

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What To Do When Your Ex IS SAFE And Threatens Suicide

At the end of a relationship, often one spouse copes better with the change than the other. One of the spouse may feel a sense of relief, optimism and elation compared to the other who is lost, confused and filled with remorse or regret. Grief is also ...

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What To Do If You Can't Afford A Lawyer

It is stressful if you are on a budget and wondering how you will meet the costs of a lawyer. Retaining a family lawyer from start to finish may mean an overwhelming invoice at the end. Similarly, not hiring a lawyer could be a mistake...

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Mixed Emotions About Settling Out of Court

Have you ever known a person who says one thing and does the opposite? Do you know a person who keeps changing their mind or is incredibly fickle? Try making an offer for settlement with this unknown entity! I have been asked by my ex-spouse to ...

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The Duality Of Feelings in Separation

Separation can leave you feeling two extremes - One that weighs heavily upon you while experiencing the opposite emotion at the same time. Separation is a process highlighted with emotional challenges and growth concurrently occurring. On any given day...

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The Lessons Learned From Divorce

Divorcing can be a time of awakening and enlightenment while filled with challenges and tribulations. However, once you have made your way through the process and once ...

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For men. Domestic Violence Victims and How to Leave the Relationship

The founder of DivorceAnswered.com.au wants to raise awareness of the male victims of domestic violence and offer advice for leaving a relationship involving domestic violence. Domestic Violence Awareness Month is in May and is to raise awareness of Domestic Violence in all relationships. Often it is skewed towards the female victims and many men don’t realise that ...

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10 Ways Children are Misused in Divorce

Too often parents complain that their ex-spouse is using the children as ‘weapons’ in divorce. While a parent may think nothing of their choices or actions, the long-term ramifications of this can have life-long detrimental aftershocks for the child, the innocent party of divorce. There are too many ways in which parents ...

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How to be a Working Parent and Raise Happy Children Without the Guilt

I once heard a saying “You can be a great mother or a great career woman, but not both at the same time.” The biggest challenge for working parents (especially single, full-time parents) is ...

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Should You Self-Represent In Court?

Divorcing isn’t easy and there is a lot of sweat and tears wasted before you can experience the ‘silver lIf you asked me "should I represent myself in court" a couple of years ago, my answer would have been emphatically “YES!”. However, my answer today is “NO!” Some Judges are ...

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Powerless Child Support

(Opinion) My frustration is rising. Child support debt is mounting and there is nothing that can be done about it. I am the recipient parent of child support. The paying parent...

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Family Dispute Resolution and Certificate 60I

Should you be intending to commence family court proceedings (especially in child-related disputes), then please expect to participate in Family Dispute Resolution (FDR).

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10 Realistic Expectations When Divorcing

Divorcing isn’t easy and there is a lot of sweat and tears wasted before you can experience the ‘silver lining’. Before you start, shift your divorce expectations.

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When Will I be divorced? The generalised process and timeline

Your marriage doesn’t end with the words “I don’t want to be with you anymore”. This video is a general synopsis of the timeline that you follow along the road to divorcing while offering some tips and considerations.

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Tips For Planning to Separate And The End of a Marriage

Ending a marriage is complex, even if you are the one planning to leave. Here are a few tips from Divorce Answered about how to end the marriage. Starting with "making sure it is something that you really want to do"

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Modernising The Way We Celebrate Valentine’s Day

With divorce rates on the rise coupled with the inequity of women to men ratios, there are more and more people celebrating Valentine’s Day on their own. If we were as a nation to review the way that we celebrate Valentine’s Day from a ‘couple-exclusive’ occasion and share it with the masses, it would be...

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Myths And Fallacies About Being a Single Parent

There are many common and widely known statements about being a single parent or single parenting. While these may be true for some people (the minority), they are generalisations which don’t apply to the vast majority of single parents and are made without any factual basis or concrete evidence. Many of the statements below are …

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Separation and Your Friends, The Changes in Divorce

When you separate, your will need additional support from your friends and family. However, for some friends don’t have the emotional intelligence or ability to offer that support. “Some friends will have the depth of a puddle…

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Saving Time and Money With Your Lawyer at The First Consultation

Be as prepared as possible to make the most of your time with your lawyer - by improving the efficiency of the information transfer, you will have more time to get the answers you need...

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New Year Resolutions for the Single, Separated and Divorced

Have you made your new year resolution yet? Is it a good one? Now that the New Year weekend has passed, perhaps it’s time to think of something a little different than the usual “giving up” or exercise more. One of the biggest contributing factors that resolutions fail is because they aren’t achievable. Below are …

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Child Support Is A Right

Children do not grow on sunshine, fresh air and water alone. They cost money to raise and grow into amazing people. Child support is an entitlement for children aged 0 – 18 years and in a divorced/separated situation and calculated with considerations to the number of nights spent with each parent. In recent years, the …

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Pulling The Pin on Domestic Violence and Harrassment

Domestic violence is often ignored by the victim and “swept under the rug”. Unfortunately, domestic violence only gets worse and doesn’t go away on its own. Unhealthy relationships often start with love, friendship, trust and loyalty. During the relationship, one of the couple (“the Bully”) takes the power, becomes possessive and demands control with an …

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Letting Go Of Anger. It is all up to you.

Nobody really wins in divorce. It is easy to blame the other person in the marriage for its failings. It is effortless playing the victim. You may be amazed to know that it is likely that the other person in your relationship is also playing victim, blaming you and telling a vastly different version of …

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Do Not Press Send!

Rule number 1, Do not press send in anger. No matter how angry or frustrated you are by a comment, call, message or email from your ex-partner, do not retaliate. Do not enter into the depths of hate and payback. Be the bigger person and refrain from engaging further into a degrading situation. If you need …

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Create Your Divorce Song List

Music moves moods. It can change your emotional state dramatically and quickly. Depending on the genre of music that you like, you might like to consider creating different song list or compilations depending on your different moods. Separate your songs into categories such as motivating/uplifting, anger diffusing and calming. To help you get started, you …

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Are You Really a Single Parent?

It annoys me when people say they are a single parent when, in my opinion, they are not. Which makes me to question; what is the definition of a single parent? To me, a single parent is someone who makes the decisions almost all of the time, if not exclusively, for the children. This parent …

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Amicable Separations Often Sour

It takes a lot of energy and effort to make a divorced couple’s ongoing relationship amicable. One person always feels like they are doing all of the compromising or “bending” to keep the relationship on the cordial track. Creating a happy, positive front while separated is possibly harder than working on the marriage...

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Self Discovery for Spiritual Enlightenment and Fulfillment

I was recently posed with the thought … Am I manifesting negativity because I don’t have a creative outlet or passion? A true expression of me? I realised that one of the failings in my life was that I never truly invested in me or found out what my passions are. I have found …

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Essential Health

Divorce, separation and single life has many challenges – peace of mind in a time of change and uncertainty is such a blessing. Just like you have to be able to love yourself before you can love someone else, you too aren’t any good to your loved ones if you can’t look after yourself or …

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Top 10 Things To Do For You When Divorcing

Start a gratitude journal. Learn to be mindful of the little things. Celebrate the small wins for you, your friends and family without jealousy, Get a hobby, find your passion or study. Your friends will tire of hearing all about your divorce and children. Finding a new activity, will help make you personally fulfilled and...

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Divorcing With Children VS Divorcing Without Children

When I got separated, the only people I knew that had divorced did so prior to having children. All of my other friends with children were in happy, contented marriages. My friends were so supportive, but couldn’t offer any advice when it came to managing the other parent, what to do or how to handle …

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How To Tell My Partner “I Want a Divorce!”

Before running out and proclaiming that you want a divorce, have you done everything that you can possibly do to salvage it? If the answer is yes, then I recommend you being as amicable and as kind as possible through the process. Start by imagining how you want your relationship to be in the future …

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Children Get Divorced Too

Children go through a “divorce” too. The world that they knew as a “family” becomes very different. The relationship with both parents changes and sometimes it involves moving homes. Sometimes, the separation can have a positive impact on the children, especially removing them from situations of neglect, high tensions and abuse. Other times, the children …

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Separation And The Changing State of Friends

When you get divorced you learn who your true friends are. Some are super supportive and call regularly to check on your wellbeing. Others run away. Friends, regardless of the reason, move on. However, separation tends to make it blatantly and more painfully obvious. Generally, coupled friends close to you and your partner often feel …

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How Old Should Your Children Be Before Breaking Up or Divorcing?

The short answer is, there is no right answer. Regardless of whether you break up before your child is four, fourteen or forty, there are benefits and pitfalls to breaking up with children at all ages. Below are a few considerations… Young children (aged 0-11) PRO * Too young to know any different type …

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Don’t Threaten To Leave If You Don’t Mean It

As I was watching an episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (please don’t judge), it made me recall an episode from a previous season where Heather DuBrow was offended when her husband Terry used the “D” word. I pondered Heather’s reaction. My conclusion is that “divorce” is often threatened or referred to when …

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How to know when it is time to get divorced?

Making the decision to end a marriage is a very big decision. Many people took vows to live together through poverty and poor health for the rest of their lives. Leaving the marriage leaves them feeling conflicted. Ending the marriage leaves some people feeling relieved and elated, others numb or guilty. In my opinion, there …

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Parenthood is not a right, it’s a privilege (Daily Telegraph)

On September 10, 2015, when I read the heading of the Daily Telegraph Opinion Article “Parenthood is not a right, it’s a privilege” (Louise Roberts) it really stuck a cord with me. My immediate thought was “too true”. The article itself refers to freezing eggs and the timing of having children. However, the end of …

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Mother’s Who Leave (SBS, Insight)

On June 7, 2016 the media ignited with the heading “mothers who leave”. It was instigated by an SBS Insight episode (that aired the same night, titled the same). It was a candid discussion from women who chose to leave their children with their father and also from children who were left by their mothers …

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Mum and Dad Glue (Kes Gray)

This book is a short picture book about parents who have decided to separate. It addresses the love lost between the parents and a child’s attempt to “stick” them back together with “parent glue”. This rhyming story delivers a powerful and optimistic message and reinforces the lesson that despite the parents not loving each other …

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Storms Can’t Hurt The Sky; A Buddhist Path Through Divorce (Gabriel Cohen)

Storms Can’t Hurt The Sky, A Buddhist Path Through Divorce is not a book telling you how to divorce and what to do. It is a book recounts the emotional journey and how Gabriel Cohen managed his anger using Buddhist teachings. By educating the reader how Buddhist teachings help you to choose how you react …

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Two Homes (Clare Masure)

This is a simple, gender neutral story of a child named Alex who explains his/her story about having two homes. It is told using short, simple sentences and a happy and upbeat language complimented with bright illustrations. Alex show the reader the two homes that he/she lives in, the two front doors, two kitchens and …

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Fred Stays With Me! (Nancy Coffelt)

This is a beautifully written story about a little child whose parents are divorced. As the child moves between each house, so does her dog, Fred. Fred is the constant companion and confidant. What is particularly interesting about this story is that the dog presents the challenge for the parents, the child asserts her authority …

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Rebuilding; When Your Relationship Ends (Bruce Fisher)

Rebuilding features 19 steps that people go through after breaking up. Fisher describes each stage from the point of view of the “dumpee” and “dumper” and further explains what the children of the break up may be experiencing during this time too. Each chapter is relatively short and features a brief questionnaire at the end …

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What is Sole Parental Responsibility?

In 2006, changes to the Family Law Act ensured that all parents default to SHARED EQUAL PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY for their children. Regardless of your marital situation (single, defacto, re-married, divorced or separated). If you are a parent to a child, you may assume Shared Equal Parenting Responsibility or come to an agreement offering Shared Parental …

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Lodging a Divorce Application

Lodging for your divorce is not a hard or complicated process. The Family Law Courts have the form available and a DIY kit which clearly explains how to fill out the form. Don’t be fooled by other online services charging good money for something that you can obtain for free. You can download an editable …

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Equal Shared Parental Responsibility

In 2006, the Australian Government regulated an assumption that any two people that have a child automatically assume “Equal Shared Parenting Responsibility” (ESPR). This means that regardless of whether you and the other parent had a child from a one-night-stand or in a defacto/married relationship and regardless of whether you are now together, apart, separated…

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Interim Parenting Orders Do Not Lapse

When a judge makes a ruling or order. It can be on an interim (limited time period) basis or a final basis (which is permanent/indefinite). The interim orders stay in place until they are REPLACED by new orders (even when a time period was noted, say 6 months or 12 months). Say, the Judge ruled…

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When to Consult a Barrister

Have you thought of bypassing a lawyer and starting with a barrister? It is possible. First and foremost, fill out the Divorce Answered Separation Statement. For a small fee, the form will save you hundreds of dollars in your first appointment (with your legal counsel) and assist in writing your affidavit submission. As you can…

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How to Select a Great Lawyer

Sometimes it can be hard to know where to start and what to look for in the quest to find your lawyer. Below are a few ideas to help you along this path. In your quest to find a good lawyer; Ask friends and family for a referral for a family lawyer that they have…

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Financial Settlement and Your Property

“Possession is 9/10 of the law.” This common saying is largely true when it comes to property and divorce. First and foremost, do not succumb to pressures from your ex-partner to sell your home. It is really important that you consider the items below and consult your lawyer before putting your house on the market,…

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What is an Independent Children’s Lawyer (ICL)?

The Independent Children’s Lawyer (ICL) is an independent, unbiased legal representation for the children of a divorce that acts in and has the best interests of its clients (the children). The ICL is generally appointed when coordinating parenting orders if the case involves mental health concerns, violence, abuse, high conflict, neither parent has legal representation …

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The 12 Commandments of Court Manners; What to expect at a hearing/interim hearing/mention

Court can be daunting. There are so many do’s and don’ts … here are a few for you to consider and keep in mind; “Dress to Impress.” While you don’t have to wear a suit, you do need to dress respectfully. Consult your lawyer regarding what they recommend, in their opinion, as suitable attire regarding…

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Five Ways to Reduce Your Legal Fees

Below are five easy and simple ways to keep your legal fees to a manageable standard Be self-represented – you become the recipient of all communications and pay for advice of a lawyer as needed. Representing yourself in court will save a lot of money in time “standing around” waiting for a mention. You might…

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To Court Or Not To Court

The 2014 divorce statistics continue to be staggering according to Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS). It found that 46,498 individuals were granted divorce that year and divorces involving children represent a staggering 47% equating to 40,152 children affected (or 1.8 children per marriage). How many of these divorces went to court or were settled out…

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Creating a Parenting Plan

Taking the time to consider what parenting plan or order you believe is appropriate for your family is helpful for a number of reasons – most importantly, because structure is essential for you to move on with life and for your children. When considering your parenting orders, three main rules must be applied; Be child-minded…

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Parenting Orders/Plans and Court

Below are a few items for consideration when collating your parenting plan – be it the Divorce Answered Parenting Plan, the Divorce Answered Separation Statement, something you are creating yourself or personal expectations that you need to manage. No plan, no divorce! Did you know that if you don’t have a parenting plan in place,…

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